where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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