What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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