I just saw a hot homeless man
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize