We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize