I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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