Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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