The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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