babies were throwing up all over the place
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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