He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
