think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
