Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
they need to just BURY HIM!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
