i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
