i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
