you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize