...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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