Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
