She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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