I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
