I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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