Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
