so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
