Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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