so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
