is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
