community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
