Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
