I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
