OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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