I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
