I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
