I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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