I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
