Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Welp...herpes.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
