I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
