Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
