Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
