my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
