so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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