How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
