I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
