you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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