It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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