Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Who wears a wallet chain?!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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