Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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