Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
