put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
