Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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