Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
