Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the condom got lost in my hair
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
