i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
