Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
