Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
