I cockslap morals
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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