I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
