You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
