I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I don't deserve a penis
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
