We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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