I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
This house was built for laser tag.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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