After last night, I could never be a politician.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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