when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
