chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
