My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
